I know this routine isn’t perfect, and it isn’t for everyone. What can I say, it works for me. I get plenty of time to overcome any “I want him back” feelings because there is always a good reason why I end a relationship. I don’t give up without a fight, but once the fight’s been fought, I’m done.
This doesn’t work for everyone. During the ignoring and grieving time, some people come to the realization that what they really want is their partner back! This can be a tricky proposition, and you have to realize that sometimes it’s going to be impossible.
What are you reasons for wanting him or her back?
Those “I want him/her back” feelings I mentioned earlier can be a real pain in the butt. They can do a number on your heartstrings and make you make all kinds of excuses for the problems you were having that led to the breakup. You need to figure out (and be brutally honest with yourself here) if your desire to get back together is out of loneliness and sadness or a genuine change of heart in regards to why you initially split.
Take some cooling off time
What you need now is some cooling off time. Even if you’re absolutely certain that your ex lover will welcome a reconciliation, the fact is you broke up. And that comes with all kinds of emotions; a heart hangover if you will. Knowing that you want to get back together is all well and good, but you need to take a few days or even weeks of breathing room to heal your heart. Then you’ll both be able to start over with a clean slate.
Be calm
If you need another reason for a cooling off period, consider this. When you have the reconciliation talk with your ex, which front would you rather present? The cool, calm and rational one, or the crying, screaming, weepy mess one? Right, I thought so.
When you see each other again you want to be at your best. Actually, if you want to get back together, you want to be at your super best! The sad, unhappy person you were the last time you saw each other is not who you want to be. That persona will only bring back all that break up drama.
Be ready
You also need to be ready for any reaction from your ex about giving it another try. If they say yes, you need to be prepared to follow through. If you make a promise to do something like quitting smoking, then you have to back up your words with action. So be very, very sure about what you’re ready do before you ever bring it up.
If there’s a possibility of a no, brace yourself! It all depends on the circumstances of the break up, and the two people involved. If you do get shot down for round two, keep your composure. Remember, you’ve already survived a few weeks on your own, so don’t let this turn down get you down!
This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of helpful dating articles. T
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